IS MY JOB WHERE I FIND MY WORTH?

Is my job where I find my worth? As a husband, as a father, as a man. (This goes for women too!) Is my identity in my job title? Or how much money I make? My ability to provide?

The easy answer is, no, your job is not where you find your worth. 

This is a normal question to ponder, especially in the society we live in nowadays. It may be something you ask yourselves on a regular basis and struggle to understand. Especially when there is this tremendous pressure to provide, keep your head above water, and compete.

I hope that my struggles can be a help to many of you out there asking yourselves this same question. Let me ease your mind so you never again question your worth, because let me tell you, you have more value than you know. 

Your job is not what makes you a man. (Too blunt, huh?) From young ages, we are wired to believe our identity is in our jobs. Teachers and parents ask us what we want to be when we grow up. We then grow up learning that a man must be the breadwinner and must have a fancy title like CEO, VP, Doctor, Lawyer, Manager, or Partner.  

Now don’t get confused, because we all need a stable income to buy the things we need, or quite frankly, want. But here is the catch, you don’t have to be the CEO of Google to achieve these goals or feel worthy. You don’t have to be an entrepreneur with the next greatest invention to be of greater worth, why? Your worth isn’t in material items, how much money you have, what cars you drive or in what you have or don’t have. 

I. FIND WHERE YOUR WORTH IS ACTUALLY FOUND

At the end of this life, money will not matter. When you die, you can’t take it with you. In this culture with social media and the internet, we tend to look at the amazing things people possess like fancy cars, mansions, or diamond rings. This is where our downfall begins…because none of those things hold any eternal value. 

We see these things and it’s natural  to think about how or why we don’t have them. Now, this is when we begin to question and doubt our worth. As a man, this is even worse due to the lingering stigma that men should have a top notch, high paying job or else you don’t really amount to much.

The biggest step in knowing your worth is to open yourself up to Jesus because ultimately your worth and value is in Him. He already has a plan for you and it may be something you least expect. “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jer 29:11) 

When you realize you were made by Him and for Him, your life suddenly has purpose. No job title can ever give you the purpose you are looking for. No plan can ever be better than His plan. 

Do with this step as you will, but in my opinion, this is the most important. Once you realize just how much you mean to Him, you will never again question your worth based on your job or the things you own. Your worth comes from the inside of you, and when Jesus lives on this inside of you, you’ll never be let down. I promise you.

II. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

This is a big one! Stop comparing yourself to everybody you see or even admire. You are your own person and designed specifically by God with your own looks, talents and gifts. This comes back to what I said earlier, that your worth comes from inside you! The minute you stop comparing yourself to celebrities or the people of instagram, is the minute you will begin to feel your own worth. It is a natural thing to want to compare and we all do it. 

There were periods in my life where all I did was compare and compare. I’d ask myself  “Why can’t I have this? I work just as hard.”

It lead to so much self doubt and insecurity. Your worth is not in what job you have or how much you make, your worth is in you.

Find things that you love about you. Even better, make a list of every great attribute you like about yourself. You have a lot to offer the world, but you are the only one who can unlock it. Once you are able to separate yourself from society’s standards of worth, you will be a much happier! Believe me!

III. CUT BACK ON SOCIAL MEDIA

This may be a hard one for many people…but I assure you it does wonders if you’d only try it out. This doesn’t mean you have to delete all your social media platforms or forever ignore your favorite posts. It just means to take a break for a while or scroll in moderation. Unfollow all the people and posts that make you question your value or cause you to think bad about yourself in any form or fashion. 

Set aside some time for yourself to read a book, go for a walk, or just do something your enjoy. Take time to pray and talk to God.

IV. BE A GOOD STEWARD

In short, all this means is to take care of your money well. If you are in tremendous loads of debt, it is not the wisest thing to go out and buy a new car or two. It’s just not the wisest decision for you or the family that you are trying to provide for.

As a husband, your family most likely looks to you to provide stability and security. This may mean cutting back on some of the extras that just aren’t necessary or even just budgeting a little bit better. This may mean spending less on yourself and focusing more on giving outwardly.

You will have a better sense of self-worth when you put your money where it actually needs to be and it will remind you that the hard work you’ve sown was not done in vain.

V. ESTABLISH CORE VALUES

This one may take some time. Figure out what is it that makes you feel a lack of worth. Once you know what those things are, you will be able to take the steps of eliminating those things from your life.

As a man, it is truly important to have a moral code or compass, if you will. Stick to your values and live by them, no matter what you see and despite the opinions of other people. Make sure those values make you feel valued. Relationships, work and self-worth will all fall into place when your values and your life align. 

VI. FIND YOUR ACTUAL JOB

I can recall numerous times in my own life where I have questioned my self worth. One time in particular, I was in the process of an out-of-state move after a pricey engagement in Disney World. I made the choice of leaving my job back at home to move near my now-wife.

Finding a job felt hopeless and I found myself questioning my worth as a newly engaged, jobless man. There was this looming stigma of what it means to be a man and a main provider for the home. This is when I had to find my self worth and dig deep. All the suggestions I’ve given you thus far are from my own personal experiences and I know I’m not alone. 

I just had to realize and really understand that my job was not my identity. Thankfully I had a loving, supportive fiancee at the time who was there for me during this process. She reminded me that money was never the end game. After I prayed, stopped comparing myself, got rid of distractions and reestablished my values, did I then began to realize that my value is not in my net worth. I would support us again one day. 

I had to focus on what my actual job was and remember where my value was found. I needed to be a positive, loving and patient fiancee. I needed to support my future wife and family while I was jobless, even if it wasn’t with money at that moment, just by being there and remembering God was in control. I had to learn to love myself whether or not I had a job. 

So what is the job that matters most?

Maybe it’s to be a more attentive father, a more giving husband, a better employee, a more loving son. Your main job should be to be the best Jesus-follower, husband, father, and son that you can be, regardless of the amount of figures on your paycheck. Do what you love and love what you do. Sometimes we have to work jobs we don’t want to but everything falls into place at the right time when we put God first. 

Is your job where you find your worth and value? No.

It starts and ends with you. Your worth is not about the job title you have, how much you make or what you have but rather using your gifts and talents to the best of your ability.

>>If you liked this, read about how to make the best of your year here!
And spend the next month revolutionizing your identity with the book “What on Earth Am I Here For?”