For a very long time, I didn’t cry. I couldn’t. For some reason, it just wasn’t possible. For years, I wondered if something was wrong with me. I couldn’t shed a tear at the end of a sad romantic movie, if something was wrong or for any other reason. No matter how sad or broken I was, not one tear would fall.
Was a I broken? Was something wrong with me? I felt like I was bottled up. Because there were so many moments that I felt such intense emotion that I wanted to cry, but just could not get it out. It was frustrating.
I remember that I was living in Sweden alone at the time and decided to take time to pray and fast about it, since it was really starting to bother me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to feel release and I wanted answers.
God did in fact answer my question. And I was surprised by his answer.
Sierra, right now is a season of strength. It won’t last forever and it won’t last much longer but there were some things I wanted to teach you in this time to prepare you for the future.
What?
For those 3 or 4 years that I could not cry, God was teaching me to be strong. Those years were some of the hardest of my life. I went through so many different things and had I cried every time I felt low, sad or vulnerable, I would have been a mess on a daily basis.
The fact that I wasn’t able to cry, forced me to be strong even when I didn’t feel like being strong. It taught me lessons that I now put into practice on a daily basis. It taught me how to harness my emotions (because I am an extremely emotional and sensitive person). It taught be how to be strong and when to be strong.
Soon after God answered me, the floodgates once again opened up and now I cry all the time, thank you very much! But the main lesson I learned is this, we are always in the middle of some kind of season.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
You may be in a season of loneliness, longing for friends or someone to love. You may be in a season of grief after losing something or someone precious to you. You may be in a season of parenting or “what do I do now?” as an empty nester. You may be in a season of financial struggle. You may be in a season of extreme joy and happiness. You may be in a season of sadness or depression. You may be in a season of trying to find God again.
No matter what season you are in, it is so important to identify where you are at. You may feel far from God or like you can’t hear him. But I assure you that he is there and he is wanting to teach you in this season.
Our main goal is to prepare ourselves in and out of season.
So as you answer these questions, ask God to reveal to you what this season is for you.
Maybe it’s a season where you need to fall in love with Jesus again.
Maybe it’s a season where you need to trust him for something you have been praying for.
Maybe it’s a season where you get rid of every distraction and focus on a certain task.
Maybe it’s a season where you just relax and reset.
Maybe it’s a season of waiting and patience.
Maybe it’s a season of healing and restoration.
Maybe it’s a season in pursuit of a goal.
Everything we go through teaches us and prepares us for what lies ahead. And God is yearning to be close to us and help us grow to be more like him.
And this song just reminds me that my season is coming. The season where God answers my prayers. The season where God fulfills his promises to me. The season where God shows up just when I need him.
I can see the promise
I can see the future
You’re the God of seasons
And I’m just in the winter
If all I know of harvest
Is that it’s worth my patience
Then if You’re not done working
God I’m not done waiting
Seasons – Hillsong
Response Journal Questions:
1. What season are you in?(You can use Eph 3 as a guide or my examples, but dig deep! You may be in multiple seasons)
2. What do I think God trying to teach me in this season?
3. What is one thing I am praying for in my current season?
Pray with me!
Father God, thank you for being there for me no matter what season I am in. I want to be teachable and learn from you in every season. Help me to hear your voice, help me to understand what your will is for me. No matter what the season looks like, I trust that you have a plan and purpose for me. Thank you that you have good things in store for me and you’re making me more like you. Thank you that I can expect wonderful things ahead. I give you this season of my life and I thank you that your goodness is running after me.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
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